Sunday, November 24, 2013


If you are do always what you like to do or which you feel interesting  then you will never feel like you are working, but in reality we have to do all type of jobs also the type of jobs which we dislike also. But if we convert the undesired jobs into our way of achieving our goal then these type of jobs will not be that much of boring as we previously felt.

As we all know that we all have some specific jobs or every body have some specific purpose of life means we everybody interested in doing some specific type of job. If we can find out that one then it will be our main target in life or goal in life

Many people feel as if they're adrift in the world. They work hard, but they don't seem to get anywhere worthwhile.
A key reason that they feel this way is that they haven't spent enough time thinking about what they want from life, and haven't set themselves formal goals. After all, would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination? Probably not!
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you astray.

Why Set Goals?

Goal setting is used by top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-termmotivation . It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals, and you'll see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-confidence , as you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that you've set.

Starting to Set Personal Goals

You set your goals on a number of levels:
  • First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.
This is why we start the process of goal setting by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

Step 1: Setting Lifetime Goals

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or at least, by a significant and distant age in the future). Setting lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.
To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of the following categories (or in other categories of your own, where these are important to you):
  • Career – What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?
  • Financial – How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
  • Education – Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
  • Family – Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
  • Artistic – Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
  • Attitude – Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
  • Physical – Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
  • Pleasure – How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
  • Public Service – Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming  these things, and then select one or more goals in each category that best reflect what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals that you can focus on.
As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want. (If you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants – however, make sure that you also remain true to yourself!)


You may also want to read our article on Personal Mission Statements . Crafting a personal mission statement can help bring your most important goals into sharp focus.

Step 2: Setting Smaller Goals

Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan.
Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.
Then create a daily To-Do List  of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals.
At an early stage, your smaller goals might be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your higher level goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.


If you feel that you're not paying enough attention to certain areas of your life, you'll find our articles on The Wheel of Life  and the Life/Career Rainbow useful.

Staying on Course

Once you've decided on your first set of goals, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your To-Do List on a daily basis.
Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience. (A good way of doing this is to schedule regular, repeating reviews using a computer-based diary.)


A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants (some of which we've included in parenthesis), SMART usually stands for:
  • S – Specific (or Significant).
  • M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
  • A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
  • R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
  • T – Time-bound (or Trackable).
For example, instead of having "to sail around the world" as a goal, it's more powerful to say "To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015." Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!

Further Goal Setting Tips

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective, achievable goals:
  • State each goal as a positive statement – Express your goals positively – "Execute this technique well" is a much better goal than "Don't make this stupid mistake."
  • Be precise: Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you'll know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
  • Set priorities – When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
  • Write goals down – This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
  • Keep operational goals small – Keep the low-level goals that you're working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward.
  • Set performance goals, not outcome goals – You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. It can be quite dispiriting to fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control!
    In business, these reasons could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, they could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck.
    If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals, and draw satisfaction from them.
  • Set realistic goals – It's important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (for example, employers, parents, media, or society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions.
    It's also possible to set goals that are too difficult because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.

Achieving Goals

When you've achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that you've made towards other goals.
If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve.
With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:
  • If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.
  • If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier.
  • If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
  • If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

Tip 1:

Our article, Golden Rules of Goal Setting , will show you how to set yourself up for success when it comes to your goals. If you're still having trouble, you might also want to try Backward Goal Setting .

Tip 2:

It's important to remember that failing to meet goals does not matter much, just as long as you learn from the experience.
Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting. Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, consider letting them go.

Goal Setting Example

For her New Year's Resolution, Susan has decided to think about what she really wants to do with her life.
Her lifetime goals are as follows:
  • Career – "To be managing editor of the magazine that I work for."
  • Artistic – "To keep working on my illustration skills. Ultimately I want to have my own show in our downtown gallery."
  • Physical – "To run a marathon."
Now that Susan has listed her lifetime goals, she then breaks down each one into smaller, more manageable goals.
Let's take a closer look at how she might break down her lifetime career goal – becoming managing editor of her magazine:
  • Five-year goal: "Become deputy editor."
  • One-year goal: "Volunteer for projects that the current Managing Editor is heading up."
  • Six-month goal: "Go back to school and finish my journalism degree."
  • One-month goal: "Talk to the current managing editor to determine what skills are needed to do the job."
  • One-week goal: "Book the meeting with the Managing Editor."
As you can see from this example, breaking big goals down into smaller, more manageable goals makes it far easier to see how the goal will get accomplished.


A good way of getting going with this is to use the Mind Tools Life Plan Workbook. Supported by worksheets and advice, this guides you through a simple 5-step process for setting your life goals, and for organizing yourself for success.

Key Points

Goal setting is an important method of:
  • Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.
  • Separating what's important from what's irrelevant, or a distraction.
  • Motivating yourself.
  • Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
Set your lifetime goals first. Then, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Keep the process going by regularly reviewing and updating your goals. And remember to take time to enjoy the satisfaction of achieving your goals when you do so.
If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Managing others to live happily and peacefully

Managing others to live happily and peacefully

 Sometimes it becomes very necessary to control others for maintaining peace or happiness . At least managing the event also can be helpful for maintaining peace or happiness at certain times.Managing other people requires some control  over own feeling and emotions. Focus should be always on problem solving rather than own emotions. Importance of own emotions should be neglected to some extend if not fully. "Thinking with brain not with heart" is the main key.

Here also the basic things needs to be maintained.
Control your emotions such as anger,sorrow,insult,tension and keep the cool, these things requires a little bit practise to work well in the actual field or in real life.

Then comes the rules to manage others.

Everybody is fond of praise and dislikes insults or citicism, To get favour or influence someone genuine praise will do a lot.
If sometimes requires criticising the enemies of the person you want to control will help.
Treat the person as special.The level of praise matters,sudden increase in praise may cause suspicion.
Always think in his terms and act accordingly. Beware of unnecessary frequent praising.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

How to avoid Altercation or argument for happy and peacefull life

How to avoid  Altercation/argument

It is always better to avoid an argument. However to maintain peace and happiness it is extrmely necessary,whether it is at home, at office or any where else. Avoiding argument is not only necessary for maintaining peace or happiness but also it gives added advantage in some places. Avoiding argument by means of keeping mum yourself for the time being or changing topics for the time being does not mean that you agree with your counterpart, but it is a startegy to duel in the same matter at different situation at different mood. An argument can never be won and all the disputes are generated from this argument. But how to avoid the argument.

1.Control your anger.Keep your cool
2. Respect opponents views and you can cut down the risk of developing the argument by 90%.
3.Judge the loss and benefits of the argument, i.e the consequences of the argument.
4. During conversation avoid using insulting or harsh words which hurts others ego or sentiment.
   If the insulting or harsh words are used against your opponent chances are that                               there would develope some destructive argument sooner or later.
5.Talking in the terms of the opponents help reduce the intensity of the situation.
6. Keep mum during controversial discussions such as religion ,politics etc. 
7.Keeping mum if you disagree .
8.Dont be impulsive   


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Soft skills for happy and peacefull life

2. Soft skills

The soft skills will act as a bonding agent between relationships instead of breaking agent which is seen in case of rude behavioured beople. This will help building goold relationship amongst  people and good relationship have its own reward.

Learning soft skills and practising it to a level when they'll become a natural  reflex while dealing with people everyday will have tremendously help, reducing the hot situations where brawling or fighting would become inevitable, and side by side people  power also increases in this way and the feel good factor will start to grow.

How to do it ?
Basic rules are are to be followed

1. Respect them all irrespective of age , gender or class.

While talking to anybody keeping in mind the  above mentioned rule will always help.

In case of your enemy if not possible to respect them atleast don't disrespect them.

2. Don't hurt others ego

3.Treating  every people as special  will take you a long way.

4.Never think about harmful things about others,because your ill thoughts may come out at anytime while you are talking to others and this can be used by others against you.  

Practising good manner to lead a peaceful and happy family life

Practising good manner

Great people always follows good manners , but all of us who are not great people aslo can practise manners. Practising good manners at home or at workplace or wherever applicable if applied properly will make the living condition better and enjoyable as manner is by menaing is the sensitive awareness of  feelings of others.

Good manners practised at home will automatically raise the children with good habits whereas breaking the bad habits once they are aquired is a herculian task.  

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

How to avoid being a lazy person and be creative and leave happily and peacefully

How to avoid lazyness and be creative leave happily and peacefully

To leave happily and peacefully a person has to overcome certain interpersonal deficiencies. One of the most common deficiency is the laziness or procastination.  A person becomes lazy due to several reason, however the most common thing is that if the person do not get right amount of sound sleep then he is bound to become a lazy person.

So to avoid being a lazy person he must try to get sound sleep of sufficient duration which is almost 7-8 hours.

Sound sleep depends on various things and sleep patern can be disturbed due to many reasons.

Watching TV sould be stopped at least  1 hour before going to bed. It has been found that watching TV before going to bed have serious effect on the sleep patern.

Excersing before going to bed is also to avoided

strong light should not be in the room.

Another thing that hampers the sleep pattern is the lack of exercise. One should exercise sufficiently daily to remain maintain health and good sleep. Only some Aerobics, free handexercises and pranayama will be suficient.
There is no need for training from Aerobics experts and any types of aerobics can be practised for that.

For freehand exercise only two waterfilled 2liter waterbottle is sufficient.

For pranayama the following methode can be practised for 10 to 15 mins per day preferably in the morning.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Managing tension for peaceful and happy life

Tension management

Tension happens to every body, along with  some  serious side effects  which attacks our mind and body.
The only way to avoid tension is to learn how to  manage tension.

So first of all we will see what are the causes that creates tension.

1.Fear of unknown 

2.Fear of known consequences and unable to find the solution to avoid the consequence.

I will discuss the above two in detail before that we require to mention the third counterpart also as mentiooned below.

If we dont uproot the very cause that creates the tension then  the tension will be recurrent or chronic, it will cause tension again and again         No medicine, no meditation can remove the tension. So in that case only way is to remove the very cause which is very often found to be the homework.

So the solution is doing the homework beforehand. This will alleviate our tension in a great way,and procastinating  will cause the tension to return frequently. We have to do our homework beforehand as well as possible.

1.Fear of unknown 

Fear of unknown is the greatest major source of tension. We bocome tensed by worrying that what will happen if this happens or other thing.

If we want to avoid to be tensed and be relaxed when the situation is out of our control we need to find out the consequence if possible and be prepared and this will limit the tension.

Living peacefully and happily by anger management

Anger management:-

 Without control over ones anger is sufficient to breake the peace and ruin the happy life so managing anger is the most crucial part.  For some people anger managing is very difficult and for some people anger seems to be an alien thing. However in general most of us feel angry at some times.

We will concentrate here how to manage  anger in particular situations that causes anger.

If we consider the following things at the unfavourable situations then the anger might be controlled to some extent, however to control it fully it requires practice.

Consider the Times news quote that says "The people who looks back angrily to their past life suffers the most".

It is not always true that the people who looks angrily to their past life do it  wishingly, but the real fact is somewhat different. The real fact is that they cannot control themselves,even when they knows the consequences also. The problem lies deep inside them, in fact the problem started right from their childhood,the begining 2 to 12 years of their life. It depends the quality of their life during that child hood period. If the child is raised in an environment where there is no love or affection for the child and most of the beaten ,scolded or insulted then the nature of the child transforms totaly and an angry young man  takes birth. Violence, rudeness,impoliteness lack of manner everything is deeply rooted inside them which are very hard to take out of  them by themselves or by others.

The behaviour of this type of people is like as they were treated by their family members during their childhood. However they are sufferers of the sufferers. So only grudges to the parents would not solve the problem.It will be the more intelligent way  to forgive them and find out the ways to heal the wounds. Because taking revenge against them also would not solve your problem nor you will be able to change your behaviour. The only thing that will help in this situation is to find out the right way. Louis L Hay in her book "You Can Heal Your Life" has described it very well and the possible remedies also described there very well in a lucid manner, so that one can find the right way in his life.
First of all they should know the correct behaviour to the other people and then only they can change themselves.

Here the rules that are follwed in general comes into picture,and it will indirectly help managing the anger but if followed genuinly will give extraordinary good result.

1.Practicing good manner
2.Soft Skills

Although practising these two will not manage your anger but it will prevent the situation of generation of anger and will maintain a  peacefull environment.

In the next post we will discuss about the 1.Practising good manner and  2. Soft skills

Managing the self for a peaceful and happy family

 Step 1. Managing the self

In order to lead life happily and peacefully we required to  manage our emotions. If we can control over the The below mentioned emotions are our family will be very peaceful and happy.  
3.Sleep pattern

The first and foremost thing that attributes most for disturbing the peace is anger, without it violence wouldnot exist and without the anger the peace of mind would be moreeasily available.
 However anger is not created at its own.
The situations that creates anger is also to be considerd.

So we first go for Anger management  in the next post 


How to live peacefully and happily

Living smart way is simply a way out of living peacefully and happily. Peace and happy  are the words that we want to get everybody,however most of the times they seems to be very elusive. The two words although look very simple and seems to be very easily available however only the sufferers know the reality, that these two cannot be easily gained irrespective of the prosperity level. Wealth can get things,  services not the peace . Simple people may be able to live peacefully and happily forever until they  face the critical situations,the real world.

To be able to live peacefully and happily have itself many steps, a person have to cross many steps and requires  many steps to cross. We shall assume that they have crossed the general steps and and only the following steps are required to cross.

Step 1. Managing the self.
Blog Advertising - Advertise on blogs with SponsoredReviews.comStep 2. Managing the others.

Although I am not going to discuss here neither the  management theories nor the politics  and to live peacefully and happily one need not  become a management guru however as the saying goes

 “Man is by nature a social animal" so we have to live amongst the people.

And side by side

 "man is a political animal" also.

So whatever be our intelligence level we sometimes (as the situation the situation demands) have to behave like politician (i.e diplomatic) also.

So what is peace that we are lookig for in this blog?

It is the ways to be non violent in mind and also in behaviour, the ways to avoid or to create situation where there is no fear of violence or conflict.

Certain human characteristics disturbs the peace, here we will identify them and try to eleminate them one by one.
In doing so we will first manage ourselves. My next posts follows about Managing the self